11 Celebrity "Bedroom" Tapes That Made Us Puke
David Mack Quick Links
In the wake of wrestling superstar Hulk Hogan's sex tape, it has become clear that the lure of a celebrity having sex is big money. Although Hogan won his lawsuit against the people who posted his tape, there's no doubt that the news coverage this story got made all the people involved a little bit richer. That brings us to the old celebrity saying, "There's no such thing as bad publicity." This proves to be true as many of the celebrities involved in these scandals release the tapes themselves to kick-start their flagging careers.
Obviously the thought of a sexy celebrity getting down and dirty for the camera sounds like music to the ears, rushing to the internet in order to catch a glimpse of the otherwise unattainable stars. However, there are some stars that we have to question: why would they do a sex tape but more importantly, who would have sex with them in the first place?
This is the question that we pose with this list as we look at, not only the worst celebrity sex tapes, but the ones that left us feeling queasy. Warning: If you choose to look up these sex tapes up afterwards, you will have nightmares!
11. Hulk Hogan
The scandal that has put celebrity sex tapes back into the headlines. When wrestling legend Hulk Hogan was filmed doing the dirty, he was outraged to find the tape available to the public and how it got there. If you can't trust a woman who's obsessed with you and would do anything to bed you, and a 'friend' who filmed it, who can you trust?
So of course Hogan sued. But throughout the trail and headlines, everyone missed one question. Do we want to see or even care about Hogan's sex tape? The answer is no. Hogan may have felt betrayed, but anyone who even catches a second of this tape will feel much worse.
10. Tonya Harding
The act that Tonya Harding performed on Nancy Kerrigan is now legendary. A lesson to young people about the curse of competing and how far some people will go to win. But breaking Kerrigan's leg is by no means the worst thing that Harding has been involved in.
With her skating career all but over, Harding released a sex tape. Maybe it was a way for her to get back into the public eye? Or even lure male fans back on her side? Whatever the reason, it failed! Harding's sex tape sees her so drunk that she pretty much dares her 'co-star' to have her (which is the only way most men would have sex with her). Plus the fact that she's wearing the creepiest wedding dress ever seen. This one has us running from the internet as far as we can.
9. Kid Rock and Scott Stapp
Our first question is Scott who? Then we realize and instantly feel nauseous at the thought -that's before we've even seen it! Kid Rock and Scott Stapp (from Creed, in case you were wondering.) receiving oral sex from some groupies. Yes, it really is as sleazy and gut-wrenching as it sounds. Why anyone thought that people would want to see this is beyond us.
The irony with this is that Rock would later contract Hepatitis C from Pamela Anderson. Bringing the celebrity sex tape industry almost full circle. Poetic justice some may say.
8. Chyna
There is no denying that Chyna is a butch and muscular woman. The former wrestling and bodybuilding star used this to great advantage in her career, but in a sex tape? No thanks.
'Starring' in this tape with fellow wrestler X-Pac. The two ex-wrestlers made a career out of pretending to hurt people, but now they hurt people for real with this tape. With muscles and hair flying everywhere, this is a tape that no one wanted to see.
A tip for girlfriends here: if you think that your boyfriend likes to watch adult films, then show him this tape. Men who watched this are recoiled and vow to never watch anything adult film-related again!
7. Danielle Staub
It's almost become a career path now for a reality TV star to be involved in a sex tape. It's almost as if it's one of the steps you have to climb in order to reach fame, without having to have actual talent. This is the case with Danielle Staub. The self-proclaimed star of The Real Housewives of New Jersey became so desperate for attention, good or bad, that a sex tape surfaced.
Just like many reality TV stars before her, a lawsuit followed as Staub claimed that it was taken without her knowledge. However, being declared bankrupt and needing the public's attention, we have a feeling that this was a publicity stunt that went wrong. We don't need to see this sex tape to feel sick.
6. John Edwards
Is there a more nauseating thought than a politician, his mistress and a camera? No, we didn't think so.
The disgraced former senator is no stranger to controversy and tabloid headlines, but a sex tape? Really? With many reports from the two involved describing the 'event' as an unbelievable and almost religious experience, we're already reaching for the bucket and about to fill it to the top. To see this tape would erase any thought of erotic images permanently. This is what was actually inside the Ark of the Covenant. Face melting badness!
5. Gene Simmons
We all know that the life of a rock star is full of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. However, do we really need to see it? Especially when the rocker in question is, to put it nicely, past his prime.
The bassist from Kiss became more famous for his 'tongue waggling' ways than for his music (a trait we must add that he didn't put to use in this tape). Watching an ageing and out of shape Simmons working his 'magic' on a woman, (who couldn't be more disinterested) is enough to make anyone want to throw up. Simmons later had this tape taken off the internet as he claimed it was filmed without his knowledge. Although it's also reported that Simmons owns the rights to this tape.
4. Fred Durst
Another rocker that thinks the world needs to see him 'rocking' between the sheets. The Limp Bizkit front man was a constant sound on the airwaves in the late 90s and early 2000s. The band's popularity soon waned and Fred Durst found himself being slowly forgotten.
He thought his phone was hacked when a sex tape was released on the Internet. Some think it was released by Durst himself in order to get him back into the public eye which it did, but unfortunately for him the only thing people were talking about was his 'size.' misfire.
3. Dustin Diamond
No matter what happens in the world, Dustin Diamond will forever be Screech! The former Saved By The Bell star has never been able to shake off the Screech persona and has been firmly typecast as the nerdy, women repelling geek.
How different he is to Screech has been a struggle for Diamond to show us. Although, that hasn't stopped him from trying. In his book, which nobody seemed to have read, he claims to have bedded over 2000 women, picking these women up at Disneyland of all places. When the book didn't change his persona, Diamond then released a sex tape. Screech in a threesome is cringing enough, but the vile sexual acts that take place are just, well vile!
2. Verne Troyer
When a sex tape with Troyer surfaced, nobody found the thought of his naked body exciting. However, everyone still saw it because let's be real, it would be interesting to watch.
The awkward and uncomfortable footage, especially when Troyer has to stand on a stool, is both disturbing and unnecessary. However, in an 'it must be seen to be believed' moment, everyone watched it through the palms of their hands and cringed, but we also couldn't look away. We all definitely feel bad for this.
1. R-Kelly
For those out there that may not know this, R-Kelly used to be a famous musician, and a good one, too. That is until his 'personal' life took over and his career nose dived. With his musical talent going to waste, R-Kelly is remembered now for his sexual interest in underage girls. This tape has R-Kelly, not just performing and receiving some shocking things, but one of the girls featured is only 14.
We must say that recently it has been disputed as to whether it is R-Kelly in the tape; with a jury acquitting the case. Whether or not it is R-Kelly or this is another example of a celebrity with power to make things go away, is not the issue here. We're just talking about the tape here. No one should watch this and no one has; the information about this tape is enough to make us all sick!
